The Merc's Mark
by silverfangmoon
Summary: Sometime it takes being sent on a suicide mission before you start getting your life together. Tayuya learns this the hard way. YURI
1. Chapter 1

You know there comes a point in every relationship that you know it's either going to work or it's not. I like to refer to that moment as relationdestiny. And _dear reader_ I'm realizing that this relationship is doomed at the worst possible time. You see I'm completely making out with my girlfriend of two year right now after an amazing dinner she cooked. And I guess it would be appropriate to mention that it's our anniversary. Instead of melting into this girls touch I was wondering why the fuck I was still with her. Hinata was a great girl! I mean she cooks for me every time I'm over, my family (those who still talks to me) loves her, and honestly she was the girl that every normal person dreams of. But to me it felt like a one night stand. Sure I really wanted to fuck her... Like bad. But that all it was...just a nice fuck to get me by.

"Tayuya," she whispered in my ear breathy. I looked at her with a small smirk. "Do-do you want...to go to my room?"

I nodded my head allowing her to pull me up from the couch we were on. To be honest I think what has me always coming back to her was the fact that she was so timid. God the thought of her blushing face as I admire her cunt almost had me cumming on the spot. Shy girls just had a soft spot in my heart.

But as I was drinking from her I couldn't help but think what the fuck was I doing. Settling for a girl that was just...I don't know...I guess overall good and nice. I mean seriously guys I have a soft spot for a lot of things. Like puppies but I'm not going to marry puppies (I might….just because they are soft.) But seriously why settle for someone who won't push you to your limits. Someone who is afraid of height so you want can't fuck on the roof of a 30 story building. That's just not living…

So while we cuddled after some pretty decent sex I thought of a way to get out without breaking her heart too bad. I mean give me a break...no matter how much this relationship is like a dead horse there's no reason to leave her broken. She's going to make some Joe a happy bastard just not me.

"Are you okay," her timid voice asked me. "You didn't seem like you were fully with me tonight."

Swallowing the weird lump that had formed in the middle of my throat. I nuzzled her neck with my nose. "I was here the whole time," I replied smoothly.

That seemed to please her because moments later soft snores filled the room. Releasing the breath that I didn't know I was holding I slowly unwrapped my arms from around her. Sliding my tight blue jeans on I quickly scanned the room for my top items. Snagging my bra from the top of the drawer and a t-shirt in the corner of the room I slide out of the room without disturbing Hinata.

I know what you're thinking...sliding out on your girl on your anniversary is kind of shitty but she was used to it. Which should have been a warning sign when we first started dating. I mean at least insult me for not being able to handle someone who's has their shit together. Like come on! You only can be so understanding. Oh you can't come by because you're sick? Cool. Thing came up with work? I get it. We have sex for the first time and you bail? Your dead (or at least kind of injured).

As I walked towards my best friends' bar I couldn't shake the fact that I was a kind of an asshole. I mean seriously who the fuck in their right mind would even want to leave a girl like Hinata? I had it made and I could give a flying fuck. Maybe that's where the term fuckboy/girl comes from. People who gives a fuck about people that could give a flying fuck about them. _Was it? It would make sense with the fuck and gender put together…_ Shaking my head I walked into the hole in the wall bar called: Needles and Daggers.

To my surprise it was empty. Checking my phone the time read 12:45. That was way more then enough time to get fucking plastered. Shrugging I plopped onto a barstool and waited for the blonde bartender. From the look of it he was new and most likely really freaking happy it was practically dead. His blue eyes met mine and a grin spread across his face. Walking over as if he was God's gift to the world, I almost puked. I clearly was God's gift to the world. How dare him with his cute dimpled smile think otherwise.

"What can I get for ya miss," he asked smoothly.

Before I could reply Tenten was next to him with a look of annoyance. "Naruto go help someone else," she ordered without sparing him a glance. Instead her sharp gaze was boring into my light amused brown eyes. As soon as the kid left she prepared a cherry pie shooter. "You don't deserve her."

It was a simple statement but it reminded me of how much of a jackass I was. Downing the shot I signed heavily. "Tell me something I don't know," I replied.

Instead of making another sweet little shot she poured two double shots of tequila. "Tayuya I have no clue what you don't know. Honestly I think you're smarter than you let on."

Chuckling I downed the first shot. "Yeah I think so too. But seriously Ten I just realized how much this isn't going to work! And I'm the dumbass that let it happened," I groaned. _Readers from the few paragraphs that you've read already you can kind of guess that I just don't understand how to cherish a good easy thing. But like many of you I don't want it easy. I want the hard, rough, deep….where was I going with this…_

"She deserve better."

Downing the second shot I patted the counter ready for the next round. "Yeah I think I always knew that I was shitty but fuck at dinner the way she just stared at me with I don't know a look of pure devotion it clicked. The _relationdestiny_."

"God I wish you weren't such a dumbass."

"Yeah me too. It would make a lot of things Fucking easier." downing my now full shot I looked over to the new guy who was looking up a recipe. "So what is up with the new guy?"

"Thinking about fucking him," she questioned as she took a swig of her beer. Her sharp eyes darted to the boy making a drink.

"Mm I'm sure he wouldn't be a bad fuck but I like coming here too much to fuck him." At that she rose an eye at me. Downing another shot I groaned as the next words came out my mouth. "And I'm with Hinata."

Shaking her head she started to make me a dead Nazi. "So how are you going to do it?"

Blowing out a breath I rubbed my face slowly. How the fuck am I going to rid myself of such a loving girl? I would back out of it at the first quivering bottom lip. There is a lot of things I can handle but not a crying girl that thinks the sun shines out of my ass. Damn my soft spot.

"I don't know Ten. Hope someone shoots me in the face on my next mission?"

"You're so fucking dramatic. Whenever you get your next mission lie and say you don't know when you're coming back and you don't want her to wait around. I mean shit she doesn't come down here. It's too dirty and dangerous for her. And if you can dodge her for a week or so I can find a way to make you look as if you were a saint." She looked over to the new kid with a smirk on her lips. "And if you 'take a break' I can find someone to take her mind off of you."

Downing another shot a smirk spread across my face. "He does seem like he's a nice kid," I stated watching him interact with a customer.

"He is. Naruto has been dealt a crappy hand but he would be good for her."

"Better than me," I asked knowing the answer. I mean come on it's only the first chapter and I've been talking about how crappy of a person I am. Anyone was better than me. Well almost anyone.

"Yes."

That was all I needed to hear. She needed better and if Tenten said he was a good kid who was I to deny her that. If I wasn't such a piece of shit I would work on being better for her...but I was.

"Then I'll hang in there until the next mission." Grinning at her I swallowed down the shot she made. "I have so much Fucking homework."

"And you can do it all By yourself."

By the time two hit I was pretty fucked up. I mean I had so much to drink that multiple large mammals would be totally dead. So as I pushed away from the bar I felt as if I was going to tumble backwards. Once I found some type of footing I grinned at Tenten. She rolled her eyes and whistled. Before I could make a crappy run for it her girlfriend, Temari, was coming out of their office. She bared a evil smirk as she studied my stance.

"Am I taking you back to Hinata's or your place?"

"My place," I asked looking at Tenten. She rolled her eyes before nodding her head. "Right my house."

"Alrighty then. Ten I finished up most of the paperwork from last month. Can you look over the invoices?"

"Not a problem just take the idiot home."

Temari tossed me over her shoulder with ease. "Hey be careful! I could puke on you and not give a flying fuck," I mumbled weakly.

"And I could kick your ass. Shut up."

Good point. Temari was about 5'10" and came from a family of kickboxing champions. I on the other hand was a 5'6" 140 something filled with 25 shots weaponless mercenary. _I just wanted a ride up the stairs._

It wasn't too long Before she shoved me into the passenger seat. Getting into the driver's seat she looked at me carefully. "Why don't you just tell me what you're thinking about already," she sighed.

"Do you think Santa will bring me-" a quick jab to my throat cut me short.

"I'm not in the mood for your smart ass mouth Yuya."

Coughing I shot her a glare. "You didn't have to throat punch me you fucker."

Smirking she started the car. "Well if you weren't such a dumbass then I wouldn't have to punch you. Now stop being an idiot and say what's on your mind because the only time you come to the bar this late is when it has something to do with Hinata."

Sighing I stared out of the window watching the buildings crawl by. "I feel like shit for not being able to love her like she deserves."

She took a deep breath as she turned into my driveway. "Why feel like shit for not loving her? You can't make yourself love someone no one can."

"If I could I would fall in love with her. She deserves that at the very least."

Temari chuckled before unlocking my door. "And you're going to give her the chance to find that. Don't beat yourself up for being you, Tayuya." She patted my back with a small smile. "For what it's worth you're doing the right thing."

Grunting I got out and walked to my door. _All jokes aside reader I felt like complete and other shit. Yes I know that this is for the better but to have your friends tell you what you were thinking….sucked. For once in my 22 years of life I wanted to feel anything besides the uselessness feeling I got every time I realized they deserved better._

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 **A/N: I just wanted to say sorry for any mistakes in this chapter. I'm writing this on my phone since my computer has kicked the bucket. So try to stick with me through this trying time lol. More coming today.**


	2. Chapter 2

Marching to my room I could feel that someone had been here. My cat Bongo was perched on the back of my couch instead of being sprawled in the middle of my bed. Beside that the whole hallway to my room smelt as if someone took a swim in some very cheap calonge. Someone didn't read the manual about breaking into people's house. You know, like don't spray your normal fragrance or any at all.

Pulling out the throwing dagger that was stored on my belt loop I kicked in my door and let it fly through the air. A cream color folder was now pinned against my red wall. Lee eyes were practically bulging out of his face as he stare flabbergasted at me. Few seconds passed as it dawned on him who I was caused a playful smile spread across his face.

"Dammit Lee why do you smell like a sixteen year-old boy going on his very first date," I groaned dramatically covering my nose.

"Hana loves my youthful scent," he jokes pulling the dagger out of the wall. "I wasn't planning on dropping by in the middle of the night. Especially when we were in the middle of downward dog. But alas when work comes a calling I can't help myself."

Snatching the folder from him I sat in the middle of my queen size bed. "I wasn't expecting one of these for another week," I mumbled pulling out my targets photo. It was a dorky kid with round glasses. Unimpressed I tossed the picture over my shoulder and looked at the mission details.

 _ **Kill him. Don't cover up. Make clear that this is a warning.**_

"What did this kid do," I whispered to myself.

"You mean besides kidnapping children and helping his boss turn them into freaks? He is also orochimaru's right hand."

"So he's more dangerous than he appears?"

"Very. I'm actually surprised they aren't sending Haku or Itachi." Their names sent lighting straight through me. There was no reason that those guys weren't being sent on this mission. "What's wrong Tay?"

"They don't expect me to make it out of this one." You know I can still see the stunned face of Lee as he put what I said together. His jaw hung open as all the words he was trying to form never came. The look of fear and disbelief was written plainly in his face.

"They can't send you to your death like this," he whispered.

Shaking my head I stared at the three sentences for a few beats. "But they can…" Tossing the folder onto the bed I stood and began to pace back and forth. "What are they trying to accomplish with this?!"

Lee sat on the windowsill watching me pace with complete anger and fear. "Maybe they are sending someone else with you."

Snorting I shook my head. "If that was the case they wouldn't have sent you. My partners would be here going over things. I'm going to fucking die just to send a message to a bunch of freaks. Leave Lee."

"Maybe I can call around and-"

"It's no use. I've been assigned this mission for a reason. Please leave," I growled lowly. Lee nodded his head before hopping out of the window. Closing it I plopped back down on the bed and looked through the folder. Maybe there was a plan that involved me stay alive. Because readers I may be a horrible person but I don't want to forfeit my life if I didn't have to.

* * *

Have you ever had the feeling of deja vu? Where you know what was going to happen but there was nothing you could do to change the ending. It was happening now for me as I sat across Hinata. She was trying to understand what I just said. _I was going to die on this mission._ She quickly wiped the forming tears as she came to me. "I'm...not going...going to leave you! I know you'll make It out alright."

Shaking my head I stared at my black and green converse. How was I supposed to do this? Most people you tell that you're going to die during a mission would leave. At least people like me would. I'm not trying to hatch any eggs with someone who is good for dead. It's kind of pointless. But this girl loved me with a fire that burned (ugh). I was such a piece of shit.

"I know this is hard for you...hell it's hard for me to believe. But it is what it is," I mumbled feeling my heartbeat rise. Running a shaky hand through my fiery hair I exhaled slowly. "I knew I was expendable and we both knew that there was a chance that I wouldn't come back from a job. I just didn't think that i was going to know before hand…."

"Then refuse to go." she practically screamed. It caused me to jump slightly as excitement shot through me. "Why throw your life away?! You can move in with me and find work...safe work. My company can keep us going until you find something else. Yuyu decline this mission."

For a short second I could feel doubt forming in my body. She was slowly showing me that I didn't need to let her go. That she had a spark that been hiding away, that really wished she would have shown sooner. It was almost enough for me to back away and let someone else handle this mission. Almost.

"I can't," my voice cracked as I continued. "it wouldn't be right to knowingly sending someone else off to their death sentence. That's why I'm asking you...begging you really...not to wait for me." Hot tears hit my hand as I looked into her pale blue eyes. "You deserve a lifetime of happiness."

She slowly and carefully walked over to couch. Once she was as in front of me I felt as if the world was stopping as her tears fell. "You're willing to die so someone else doesn't have to," she whispered. Nod my head slowly. "You don't even know how much of a big heart you have."

Laughing I shook my head. "Goddess I wish that was true," I replied.

"But it is…"

Standing up I pulled her into me and hugged her as tightly as possible. Her head was buried in my shirt as she sobbed. _Reader...there are a few things in life that...I don't know make you want to be better than the you you are now. And that moment was right now as I held a girl that thought the world about me. Yes I didn't love her but to have someone give enough fucks about you felt amazing._

"I'm sorry that I wasn't the best," I whispered into her ear as her sobs slowed down. "You deserve the world, you know?"

For the rest of the day we clung to each other. Meaning we had some great goodbye, one more for the road, last supper sex. And when she finally went to sleep from physical and emotional exhaustion I pulled her close to me. Basking in her flowery scent and warmth. I could feel a part of me begging to decline and stay with her. I could be better for her. Give her everything that she deserves and more….

By the middle of the afternoon I was kissing Hinata for the last time. I had a week before I would depart on my suicide mission but if I stayed I would most likely back out of the mission. Hell even now she was making it hard for me to leave. Her nails dragging across my back as she sucked my bottom lip in between her teeth.

Fuck me right?

Pulling away slightly I rested my forehead against her's. "You're making this so much harder than expected," I whispered.

"If you're going to die...I want to enjoy the last moments I have with you," she mumbled. Her light blue eyes pierced mine like a dagger sending shooting sparks down my spine. "I want to remember the way your lips feel against mine. How you whimper when my nails come in contact with your skin… I love-"

Missing her I cut her off efficiently. "Don't. Don't say it," I pleaded with her. "Because if you say it I might stay and I can't. I already confirmed that I was going on this mission… If I bail…" Flashbacks of what we did to Bic played through my head. Taking a mission and than declining was one of the worst insults things you could do among Mercs. "I just can't bail."

"I understand…"

Pressing my lips against her forehead I sighed heavily. "I should get going." stepping back she nodded her head.

"You're right...if you don't leave now I would find a way to change your mind…" she chuckled most likely in an attempt not to cry. "B-but if you do survive...w-will you come to see m-me first."

One last request...I knew there was no chance that I would survive a fight with Orochimaru's right hand. We would never see each other in this world again. If it was anyone else I would have said just that to her but that Damn soft spot of mine wouldn't let me destroy her hope.

"I will. I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

"You look like shit," Temari stated as she wiped down the bar. "Is it because of the mission?"

I only had two days left before I would go off and get myself killed. So if I looked like shit that would be as good of a reason as any. "What do you think," I growled annoyed by the stupid question.

"You didn't have to accept it you know?"

Pulling my beanie down a bit I rolled my eyes. Readers in my line of work we can't pass up jobs like a regular person can. If you refuse to take a mark then you were going to be jobless for a few months. That isn't ideal for me. And I know what you're thinking neither Is dying. But there's a reason I needed to do this. No matter what the risk or the certainties were.

"I suppose…" Temari shook her head before going to the other side and leaving me to my own thoughts. It didn't take too long for my mind to wander to the same place it always did Right before a mark:

 _Kimimaro was practicing this new dagger technique he called locust dance Right before our next mission. He always wanted to be better than he was the previous mission. That was what I admired about him the way he was never afraid to make himself better. As partners he pushed me to improve my skills and I taught him the meaning of relaxing. Unlike Kimimaro I was laying in the grass enjoying the mid spring breeze before we left. This was how I used to get ready for each mission because it was the only way to calm my nerves._

 _Today was the day we would go hunt down Orochimaru's new "experiment". This guy was taken from his home and tormented by that sick son of a bitch. We were told what they did to him… our only goal was to bring him back so Tsunade could try and help the guy out._ _I've only joined the ANBU a little under a years ago but from my understanding The guy behind this was getting ballzy. Maybe killing the last two mercs we sent gave him a confidence boost. I like to think he just wanted to see how much he could get away with._

 _"Tayuya," his calm voice reaches my ears. Cracking an eye opened I looked in his direction. "Its time to go. Do you need to stop anywhere before we head out?"_

 _Hopping to my feet I grinned at him. "I'm good to go Captain."_

 _He nodded his head thoughtfully. "Let's get some ramen before we leave."_ _I was going to make a point that we shouldn't waste time my stomach decided to pipe up. Embarrassed I mumbled out an okay._

 _As we walked to Tenzin's shop my nerves were settling down. Food always helped. And the fact that I didn't feel as if I had anything to worry about anymore also helped a lot. We proved that we worked better with each other than anyone else. I didn't want to have anyone else watch my back but him._ _We took a stool by the end of the counter and waited for our order to be taken. Kimimaro released a soft sigh As he studied his hands carefully. "Tayuya...why are you still with the ANBU?"_

 _"Because it's the only thing that I'm good at," I mumbled slightly embarrassed. "I mean I could always start up a band or something but it's not likely that I would make it… so this is the best number two option for me."_

 _He shook his head this sadly. "Tayuya there's so much more in life than this," he stated motioning to the city behind us. "You just never thought you had any other options._

"Tayuya," Tenten voice snapped me back to reality. I looked at her with a small smile. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing that matters at the moment," I replied smoothly. Which is true...Kimimaro didn't matter anymore. Why? Well reader it's because it been years ago and there is no way I could change anything now. Maybe one day I could but that day wasn't today.

She sighed knowing that I wasn't going to open up on the topic anymore. "Just two more day…"

"Yeah don't remind me."

She sighed and slide a black folder towards me. "I know you don't really want to think about the mission but you're going to need this. Apparently they don't want you to kill the guy right away."

Grinding my teeth I stared at the black folder that was most likely filled with fake credentials, money, and who knows what's else. Pushing away from the bar I started to feel sick to my stomach. They wanted me to give my life as a warning now they wanted more from me. Wasn't I giving enough!

"I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled half ass as I walked towards the bathroom ignoring Tenten's expression.

Reader as I puked up the sorry ass sandwich I had before coming out the only thing that I could think about is what was next.. What else did they fucking want from me!? To fuck the sonsofbitches!? Standing up I wiped my mouth and sighed heavily. I'm pretty much giving up all I had to offer, my life, and they wanted me to do more. Pathetic.

Walking back to the bar I took slow breaths. _"Don't let them see you break," His voice echoed in my head._ And I wasn't planning on it.

Sitting down I stared at the folder that Tenten slide towards me. Sighing heavily I opened the folder and saw exactly what I knew was there. Closing the folder I forced down the bile that was creeping back up. "I think I will take a four horsemen," I sighed heavily.

Tenten's face scrunched up as she pulled out the bottles. "You know there is still time to back out," she stated as she poured. Pushing the shot toward me she smirked. "Same goes with this drink."

Downing it I cringed hard as fuck. "You I know I can't do that," I mumbled.

She shook her head. "You're doing this-"

"Because I want to," I said cutting her off.

"For someone who left you high and dry! You owe him nothing Yuya," she replied with pleading eyes. She poured another drink and I could have sworn I saw her eyes begin to water. "Why don't you start the band that you always spoke of?"

Looking at the folder I sighed heavily. "Because that's not guarantied," I chuckled shaking my head. " It would be pretty awesome though. Sugar Coated Scalpel...that would be such a sweet ass dream to fulfill but how likely is that?"

"I would give you a job until things hits off for the band Or you can always take...Hinata up on her offer."

Slamming my drink I rolled my eyes without any amusement in them. "I wouldn't be able to give her what she wanted," I stated Looking away. "She deserves better, remember?"

"Yeah. But there is no way you don't have feeling for her. Maybe you could actually try instead of doing the same dickhead things over and over again."

Snorting I opened the folder again and examined the medical facilities badge that they made for me. "So I'm a doctor now?"

Tenten grunted annoyed that I was changing the subject not giving a damn for what she was saying. "Apparently it was that or becoming a janitor. Being a doctor makes it easier to get...the info they want."

"Right." Flipping through the documents I shook my head. "How long do they expect me to stay undercover before I kill the fucking asshole?"

"I wish I had an answer for that."

Hopping off the stool I grabbed the folder without passing Tenten a glance. "I'm going to call it night Ten. I guess I should Google what the duck half of this crap is and I still have a few things of packing to do now that this might take a month or two longer than planned. I'll see you guys tomorrow night." Flipping through a few more pages I sighed heavily. "At least I get to live in style for my last few days. They gave me a pent house looking over the city."

Not waiting for Tenten to respond I walked up the stairs and into the cool fall night. It was still early in the night but today was a Monday. Everyone was detoxing from the weekend drinking and preparing for the next drink-a-ton. "You're always your best in fall," his voice chuckled through the night breeze. I stopped in mid stride as the memories of the last mission we ever had together began to swim through my head. His blood filled smile. him pushing me out the way of a kunia. Him standing next to the biggest threat that we know of. Why would he betray me?!

"Why!?" Clenching my eyes shut I willed back the oncoming tears. After all of this time I was still wondering why. Why did he throw his life away for me? We could of found a way to escape with both of our lives. A little injured but still alive. Wiping my eyes roughly I continued my walk home. I still had a lot of packing to do with my time coming to an end, besides, crying where anyone could see just wasn't cool at all. "I'm Such a fucking dumbass."

Instead of going straight home I made a pit stop at Tenten's place and slipped the letter I wrote before stopping at the bar into their mailbox. Leaving now instead of giving everyone some half ass goodbye was a much better plan. Reader...I'm a coward.

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 _ **A/N: We have about two more chapters before the real fun begins. So what do you guys think so far?**_

 _ **On another note I will be posting another chapter of Silver Spring soon. It is a adventure time high school flick.**_

 **Last thing I will have another story up soon as well so keep an eye out for me :)**

 **Thanks**


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